Note to the Loud Lawyer on the 2:46 from Chappaqua

Dear Mr. Loud Lawyer,

I was reading and enjoying my book on my ipod when you boarded. It had been quiet. The guy next to me was sleeping. Nobody was talking on their cellphones. In fact, no one's cell phone was even ringing. Then you turned the MetroNorth car into your personal office. We got to find out that if X moved into the house early, they'd be responsible for broken windows and stuff, that the house cost $365,000, that the closing was tomorrow, that.... Please. I didn't want to know all that. I wanted to read in peace. And what about your client who's personal legal affairs were broadcast throughout the train? I thought about going up and suggesting you carry on your conversation in the vestibule. I didn't. I meekly sat and kept reading as you acted as if you were the only one on the train and as if we all would be impressed that you were so important with your legal advice to some poor soul.